By training in CQC, you get superbly fit:
Actually, CQC is normally practiced by military personnel that are already superbly fit.

CQC's emphasises complete deadly techniques that are organically integrated:
Most of the CQC that we do is extremely direct, simple and easy.

You need great upper body strength to do "real" CQC:
Actually, the strategy and techniques allow a practitioner to use minimal upper body strength to execute, and are actually easy enough for females to use effectively, i.e. minimum "macho"

We hone our bodies as the ultimate CQC weapon:
Actually, the ultimate weapon is the mind; the body is just another tool.

We practice flying kicks with our boots on:
Actually, there are NO flying or even high kicks in CQC.

We practice hard on ground fighting:
Great, unfortunately, going to the ground is not a good tactic in actual military combat as there will be more than one opponent, and most will be armed and dangerous.

When we run out of ammo, we finish them off with our fists:
Actually, we immediately try to reload; if there is a problem, we try for our side arm, then bayonet or knife, any other alternative weapon that is handy before contemplating unarmed combat - even a non-functioning assault rifle can be used as a weapon.

We will beat, lock and even maim our enemies:
Actually, we just aim to kill them in the fastest, most economical way.

We have a special patch on our doboks or gi's with special CQC Dan ranks:
Actually, we train in our BDU's and boots; we are known as CQC specialists; there are no Dan ranks in CQC.

Our main weapons are the sword, spear, long pole and we can also shoot arrows while riding horses:
Actually our main weapons are the assault rifle, pistol and bayonet; our main means of rapid transportation is an airborne drop.

Our hands are so well-conditioned, we can punch through walls:
It doesn't take much to damage the strategic targets of the human body, e.g. eyes, joints, ribs, temple, etc.

We can punch through 2 bricks, thus dropping any man infront of us:
Wonderful; unfortunately most guys use body armour these days.

We teach you 10 ancient ways on entering a mystical plane to maximise your killing power:
Great, however someone better tell my opponent to give me some time to prepare.

CQC comes from Bushido, with intricate Rules of Combat:
Hello, there are no "rules" in CQC except one; survive at all cost.

We have developed the most lethal system known to man, therefore we just learn it as it is:
Do not traing for the next war by preparing for the last; change is both necessary and inevitable.